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13 March 2006

The Crush

My I is entangled with you

then, you flatten me

and hide me in your vessel

thats why I'm such a bother

give me back!

4 comments:

  1. That's an interesting double-shot, Paul.

    First, "Stripper" -- nice glide down the pole. Good typographical imagery; I liked that the best. Not sure I dig the implied gender politics/ evolutionary psychology of it, but it could be ironic, and what does it matter what I think of that? "Phallusies" are fruitful in poetry.

    Then, "The Crush." I like the continuation of typographical phallus imagery with the "I" -- another good visual pun. Vessel works, obviously, as a vaginal image...but the flatten part loses the double entendre.

    Also, isn't a "crush" what happens before entaglement? Or is that an ironic take on what becomes of the first crush...a far less fun crushing of the self?

    Anyway, you seem both entranced by and a-feared of Pandora's Box, so to speak. ;) Concerned that the Eternal Feminine will steal the fire from your reed, rather than bring you on high, a la Goethe's _Faust_? Seems to me that you're producing good stuff chained to yer rock there, so don't mind the eagle. ;)

    So, keep 'em coming! I'm finally coming out of my hell-time, workwise, so I should be able to get more down from "The Wager," and perhaps other stuff, too...but I got a lot of Scott's stuff to read yet...

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  2. great, thanks for the feedback D. With "Crush" I was contemplating how attraction is never a conscious choice - and assuming the speaking voice of a teenage male - that by the time you experience a crush, a part of yourself has already been separated and is emotionally attached to the other person. "Stripper" is just for fun, I was imagining what a child would think if in a strip club without hardly any context.

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  3. Ah, I read a lot into those poems. You know, the best advice I ever read on writing was from John Gardner's Art of Fiction (the author of Grendel, a phenomenal novel). He suggests that one way to create depth in one's writing is to let it flow, and then go back, see what triggers further thoughts (you have to really listen to yourself), and keep polishing the sound and sense of the language as you deepen your meanings. A dialectical process of unconscious and conscious talking to each other. Works for me, process-wise. Result-wise? For others to decide.

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  4. Hi, :-)
    just lurking.
    well, not really.
    if I was just lurking
    I wouldn't be saying 'hi'
    :-)

    I'm not qualified to comment.

    ReplyDelete