What Can I Do About Climate Change?

Just in case anyone actually cares beyond virtue-signaling—and “caring” means “acting on what you know and say.”

Since you no doubt think I’m being self-righteous, or using this issue just to primp my feathers and compete with you, in typically neoliberal/upper-10-percent fashion, over the thickness or length of our respective “moral resumes,” just make all the bad feewings go bye-bye by presuming my ratio of knowledge-to-action is nearly infinite, unlike yours, which means you’re morally superior to me, which means there’s no need for your defensive reaction, as I’ve just ceded to you the entire field forever: you are a far better person than me. Now, then, and forever. I am the merest cringing worm fit only for squashing.

OK, now that that’s out of the way, there are no defenses left, right? No need to shoot the messenger or obsess about his tone, style, mode, native language, font choice, or fashion sense, since he just committed suicide. Right? I suck; you rule. Ignore the fact that you’ve spent far more on beauty products, whatever your gender, than you have on fighting climate disaster. I suck; you rule. Feel all comfy in this nifty wittle safe space? Want a blankie, too?

Good—now perhaps we have met the minimum level of obeisance to your pwecious egos so that perhaps we may begin to, like, fucking maybe, like, finally, like, attend to the matter at hand: “we,” meaning, “all of us special smart types with degrees, jobs, disposable income, education, time...”—“we” who care primarily about the welfare of our children, “we” who care about the legions of the unborn, “we” who do not always and only think of our own pathetically uncontrolled desires, a common moral idea that unites left and right, past and present, and all the subcategories of humanity alike. 

Good—now watch, learn, and do. 

But remember, whatever you learn, it’ll be more than me—unless that increases your knowledge/action ratio too much. God knows I wouldn’t want you to increase the denominator—I mean, how the fuck can you with all the must-see TV on?—so you can (1) choose to join the denialists, (2) pretend nothing you could possibly do could possibly help, or (3) just conclude that Free Expression is bullshit, Doug is obnoxious, and you must go do more positive and important and impactful things, like forcing Ashely (age 5) to learn to code in C++ in order to stave off any possible danger to her resiliency in the future.

Because it’s all about the children. Oh, won’t somebody please think of the children! (Aren’t those evangelical Christers just the worst hypocrites on earth?)